


deep breath, deep breath

by Knightblazer



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Not Canon Compliant - Kingdom Hearts III, Post-Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 21:26:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17190617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knightblazer/pseuds/Knightblazer
Summary: It should have been easier, but it doesn't.Darkness wins, eventually.(Post 0.2, Aqua-centric. Uses KH3 spoilers but not KH3 compliant.)





	deep breath, deep breath

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally written for a secret santa exchange on a discord server! The prompt was for a heartfelt reunion after some angst and suffering... Though I feel like I might have put in a bit too mucn suffering lmao. 
> 
> While this fic uses some KH3 stuff, I'm pretty sure what happens here isn't going to happen in the game at all. :P If it does I'll be more than a little amazed, to put it lightly.
> 
> Anyway, hope you all enjoy the fic! And doubly so for my secret santa recipient. :3

_The darkness… it's gotten to me, too._

It doesn’t get easier, even after everything.

The thing is, it should have been. After all this time not only does she get to see somebody else, she also learns that hope has not been lost. The realm of light continues to fight against the darkness, and she knows that the ones who lead the charge are in good hands. 

It should have been easier, knowing that, but the truth is that it doesn’t. If anything, it just gets _worse_.

It gets worse, knowing what’s happening out there now but being unable to go out and help. It gets worse, knowing that she could have been there to help but can’t because of decisions made so long ago. It gets worse, replaying the memories in her head over and over again and wondering if there is anything else she could have done to avoid all of their current fates.

They’re all out there, fighting, while she’s here, lost and wandering within the darkness.

She told herself that she had to be their wayfinder, their light, the one who would be here, waiting for the day they’d come back for her. And for a long time, she waited, letting her light shine through the darkness of this place.

But the greatest light harbors the deepest shadows, and even she can’t keep them away forever.

It happens in bits and pieces, fragments of light stripped away as the darkness creeps in to take over those empty spaces. It would have been easy to spot, had she still been in the realm of light, but in the realm of darkness the shadows blend in all too easily. By the time she realizes what’s going on the darkness has long taken root inside of her, and she no longer has the strength to fight back.

She places a clawed hand over her chest and feels the icy grip of darkness holding it tight, the last spark of light inside her flickering like a candle’s flame.

 _If this is how it ends,_ she thinks, _Then at least let it be quick._

The shadows rush in, engulfing her light and vanquishing it entirely, and Aqua lets herself fall into the darkness.

* * *

It is easier now, in the darkness.

One would think that one would be alone when lost to the dark, but yet that does not hold true for her. Her two best friends are there along with her—for one sleeps in darkness while the other has been swallowed by another darkness that is not his own. 

But all paths within the darkness lead to one destination, and it is there where they meet once more.

This reunion is not happy, for there is no happiness to find when one with the dark. Happiness is something that only belongs to the light, and none of them are part of it any more. But still, there is comfort, and that is what she takes solace in. If they can never meet again in the light, then the darkness is where they shall be together. As long as she has her friends, that is enough.

It is enough.

The darkness elongates her fingers to claws, twists her hope to rage and stains her eyes with flecks of gold. 

If she is to be in the darkness then accepting it is the only way to go. To protect her friends, to ensure that they will always be together here—she will fight even the light to ensure that. Nothing is more important than her friends. Nothing. 

Not even the light.

* * *

There is a boy, now, with hair that reminds her of Terra. A lot about this boy reminds her of Terra, even the darkness that he wields.

But this boy came from the light. Terra no longer belongs to the light—not any more. He is here, with her, in the darkness, alongside Ven. That is how things should be. She has already lost enough and never wants to lose again.

This boy intends to take that away from her. This boy wants to take her away from her friends, but it's too late. It’s far too late. They are all in the darkness now, and she has no intention of leaving. 

She snarls out as much, telling them that they have come too late. She doesn’t want to leave any more. She wants to stay, where her friends are, and be with them now where she could never before. This is the only way she can make up for her mistakes. This is what she must do. This is…

This is the right thing to do, isn’t it?

The answer doesn’t come to her as quickly as she thought they would.

She falters, and that’s all the boy needs to strike her down.

Her last thought before collapsing are the names of her friends that she would have to leave behind again.

* * *

It is lonely, being back.

Aqua doesn’t know how long she’s been in this room, recovering her wounds from the fight she had against the boys. Those two boys, once so young, now grown and wise and so much better than she could have ever been. Both of them, now keyblade masters in their own right.

If only Terra could see this. If only Ven could see this. 

The pain deepens each time she sees Ven’s smile in one of them and Terra’s quiet demeanour in the other. Almost everything they say and do reminds her of what she’s lost, what she let slip through her fingers because she wasn’t good enough. If she had been strong enough, if she could have stopped Xehanort back then—none of this would have happened. These boys wouldn’t have had to fight a battle that had never been theirs in the first place. The two of them and more, forever changed because of the darkness she couldn’t put a stop to. Because of the darkness that had consumed her, too.

She stares out through the window in her room. Radiant Garden now shines with a different sort of light from what she recalls; though she can’t say for sure if it's because this place has changed or if it’s _her_ who has changed. Who became weak enough to succumb to the darkness within her. 

Does she even deserve this second chance? Somehow, the answers do not come to her as easily as they did before. She can never have that same confidence as she had in the past. Certainty slips between her fingers just as Terra and Ven have. 

She turns away from the window.

The light hurts her eyes, now.

* * *

Mickey comes in once in a while to check up on her, and it’d be a lie to say that she doesn’t appreciate it.

It’s only upon her return does she know that he is actually a king, and she can’t help but be awed. To be a ruler and yet maintain a strength so pure and full of light… it is something to be humbled by.

It is a thing to be envied.

She wonders if Mickey can sense that envy every time he comes to visit her. She wonders if that envy is the reason why he does not linger for long, and if her envy is why she sees his light shining brighter when he’s with Sora and Riku. They drop by as well, though not with the same frequency as Mickey.

It’s understandable, of course; Xehanort is still out there gathering his thirteen darknesses, and there is very little time to actually rest. Sora and Riku are still tasked with the mission of finding the new seven pure hearts and keep them safe. They do not have much time to spare for somebody like her.

It takes a long time before she finally summons up the courage to ask about them during one of Mickey’s visits.

“The boys… are they alright?”

Mickey blinks at her. “You mean Sora and Riku?” he asks, clarifying. Aqua only pauses for a moment before she nods, and Mickey responds promptly after. “Yeah, they’re both great. They’re both doing their best in our fight against Xehanort.”

She knows that Mickey means to be comforting with those words, but any mention of Xehanort just reminds her of everything that she’s lost. All the friends and loved ones that are no longer here now, because of her own foolishness. Because of her indecisiveness. She can see her wrongdoings all laid out before her eyes, an almost endless list of things and events that happened because she wasn’t as strong as she had to be. She doesn’t deserve to be Master. Not anymore, not after this.

What with still being confined to bed rest and all, it's all too easy these days to slip into darker thoughts—to ponder over things that she once wouldn’t have ever really come close to. But like it or not, she is different now; there is a taint within her that she can never remove, even though she is now back in the light. A price to pay for losing herself to the dark.

A large, gloved hand rests over hers, and the sensation is enough to get Aqua out from her mind. She blinks and looks down to Mickey, who stares up at her with all-too trusting eyes.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t find you sooner, Aqua,” he says. “But you’re safe now. You don’t have to be afraid of the dark ever again.”

 _That’s not what I’m afraid of,_ she thinks in return. _What I’m afraid of is that I may fear the light too much that I’d rather have the dark instead._ The temptation is always there now, lurking. Waiting. Watching. Now that she’s had a taste of the power it gives she can in a way understand why Xehanort wields it, why he so easily has it at his disposal. 

Right now she almost wishes she could have it, too.

* * *

It was probably a matter of time before it happened.

Organization 13 had come to attack Radiant Garden when it's defences were at its weakest, and Sora and Riku are both nowhere to be found. As capable as Mickey is now, even he can’t be everywhere at once.

Aqua forces herself out, running down the roads with her keyblade in hand. She is still supposed to be on bedrest but if this place is gone there wouldn’t be much of a bed for her to rest in at all. Besides, this is—this is her chance. Her chance to try and make things right, or at least better. It's the least she can do.

With how much ruckus they’re making it doesn’t take long at all for Aqua to locate them. She charges forward, ready to head into battle—only to falter and fall short when she realizes just who she’s up against. Her shock almost causes her to get hit by the familiar flurry of shots that come her way, but she dodges just in time, though she already has to take a moment to catch her breath after that.

“Aw, tired already? Guess the years really get to you, huh?”

If the bullets didn’t confirm it for her, then the voice certainly does. Aqua glances up and sees the familiar figure of Braig swaggering towards her, a cocky smile on an even more familiar face. Hard to forget a face that’s actively tried to off you more than once.

She knows that Braig is goading her into speaking, to say something that he can twist around to hurt her even more. So she simply remains silent, jaw clenched as she tightens her hold on her keyblade.

Braig’s gaze flickers momentarily to said keyblade, and his smile twists into a grin. “No more special master keyblade for you, huh? Dropped it somewhere? Or maybe… it thinks you’re not worthy of it anymore.”

Even having expected it, Aqua still can’t help but flinch at those words as they cut deep. Unlike the past this time she knows that those words are truth instead of the fabrications that Braig would have made up. She doesn’t deserve Eraqus’s keyblade, just like how she doesn’t deserve to be a Master and everything else—

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter right now. She doesn’t need to be a Master in order to show a scumbag like Braig what he deserves. She squares herself and gets into her battle stance, ready to take him on once more. She may not be at her full strength but as long as she can hold him off long enough for the self defence mechanisms to do their job that’s all she needs to do. She just has to endure this. She can do this. She has to.

The smile on Braig’s face widens. “What an angry face. Picked it up from the kid, I see. Well then…” He trails off and swings out the guns in his hands, getting into a stance of his own. “Let’s see what else you’ve picked up from him, shall we?”

* * *

Once upon a time, it was easy to think that anything is possible as long as you tried hard enough. That as long as you don’t give up, you will be able to accomplish any task you set your mind on.

But things aren’t really that simple—they never were. Aqua knows that as a fact, and it has never been hammered home into her now more than ever. 

She grunts, stumbling backwards, keyblade raised in front of her to take the brunt of the damage from Braig’s shots and bullets. She’s already lost count of the minutes and seconds that’s passed since they started their fight, but it's been long enough that she can feel her body reaching its limit. The self-defence mechanisms still hasn’t kicked in yet, and if that doesn’t change soon then Aqua doesn’t know what she’s going to do.

What was she thinking, trying to fight like this? There’s no way she would have been able to accomplish anything as she is right now. Not when she is still so weak.

Braig must have noticed her exhaustion, too, because he’s sporting that grin of his, lone yellow eye almost flaring in devilish glee. “Aww, tired out already? Guess you really lost all that bite after losing to the darkness, huh? Poor, useless Aqua, nothing at all without her title of Master. Guess that’s all you were good for.”

Those are words designed to hurt, she knows that, but they make their mark all the same. She knows it only hurts because she believes in them but how could she not? For the callousness that Braig’s words holds she cannot deny them. She was not strong enough to last against the darkness, and because of that she has hurt people. That is an immutable fact. But, still, despite that…

“It doesn’t matter that I am not Master any more.” She tightens the hold on her keyblade and forces herself to straighten up, to hold her head up high. Just like how Eraqus taught her in the past, just like how she had done when she face Terra in the Mark of Mastery exam. Being Master is part of who she is but it is not everything about her. It has never been everything. She is… she knows she is more. She just has to try and keep holding onto that. “I do not need to be a Master in order to beat you.”

“Hah! Big words there, _former_ Master.” Braig raises up one of his guns and aims it right at her, his smirk widening. “Let’s see if you can still live up to them after _this_!”

He shoots, firing a bullet straight at her and she readies herself, ready to block—

“Aqua!”

That voice. It can’t be.

Aqua barely has any time to react before a figure appears before her, too familiar and impossible, keyblade raised to take the brunt of the attack. The block is successful but Aqua doesn’t really register that, not when there’s something more immediate that takes her attention.

“Terra…”

The amusement on Braig’s face twists into an angry snarl. “How are _you_ here?” he demands, clearly having not expected this at all. 

“Had a little outside help.” Even with his back to her Aqua can her the all too familiar cockiness in Terra’s voice. “Having an old friend around didn’t hurt, too.”

Old friend? Aqua blinks at the phrase and she can see Braig doing the same too. But while nothing else happens on Aqua’s end the same cannot be said for Braig; she sees the shadow of another figure appearing behind him, in a stance that she remembers all too well—a torso twisted to the side, arm drawn back and a keyblade, being held backwards…

Braig turns around and spots the attack just in time to dodge it. He leaps to the side, the snarl on his face deepening as the new figure makes itself fully visible as well. “You, too?”

“Ten years is a long time to nap.” Amusement gleams in Ventus’s eyes as he rests his keyblade on his shoulder. “But I have to say, I’ve never been more awake.”

The darkness is already swirling around Braig as he starts to make his escape. “You haven’t seen the last of us,” he warns, voice low and dangerous. “We’ll be back, and you’ll regret ever coming back.” With those final words the darkness envelops Braig, and he vanishes just as swiftly as he had arrived, leaving nothing else but the weight of his words that still echo in Aqua’s mind.

Aqua keeps her keyblade now that the danger has passed, but she can’t help but latch onto the impossible sight before her. She stares at them both, not sure if she wants to believe… or that she even dares to. She didn’t think it would ever…. “Terra. Ven.”

Both of them turn to face her. “Hey,” Terra starts, though before he can say anything else Ven has already rushed forward to throw his arms around her in a hug.

“Aqua!” the younger boy exclaims, his joy all too easy to hear. 

Aqua can’t help but return the hug. “Ven…” she starts again, then glances over to Terra. She knows her face must be showing her disbelief and shock but she had never thought this could happen. “Both of you are… but how?”

Terra flashes a small smile. “You can thank Sora and Riku for that.” He rubs the back of his head then, somehow looking sheepish. “We certainly didn’t make it easy for either of them, at any rate.”

Sora and Riku. Once again, the two of them had done so much more than she had ever expected. There’s a small sense of pride that swells within her, knowing now that she had made the right choice, but more important she’s just—happy. Happy and thankful and glad that she had the chance to meet them, because otherwise this might not have happened at all.

Ven pulls away from her and glances up, breaking into another smile. “Wow! Look at these lights!”

Both Aqua and Terra look up as well, and Aqua sees the sparkle of lights beginning to float down on them like the universe’s shiniest snowflakes. “The self-defence mechanism.” It’s a little late, but better late than never. At least now they won’t need to worry about Organization 13 coming in again any time soon.

She looks back down when she feels an arm going around her shoulders, and she follows that arm to see Terra smiling at her in a way she hasn’t seen in years. “It’s good to be back.”

Ven beams once, happy and pleased, coming back in to throw his arms around them both to bring them all into a hug. “We’re all finally back together!”

Aqua can’t help but laugh for what seems to be the first time in forever, bringing her arms around them both so she can hold her best friends close once again. “Yes. Yes, we’re all back together again.” It feels like a miracle—and in a way, it is. She’s not alone again. And this time, she’ll make sure to do everything in her power to keep her friends safe. 

The time for mistakes has passed. Now, there is a future in which she will fight for.

**Author's Note:**

> Blueberry mom is great and I love her
> 
> This may probably be the only time I'll ever write a KH fic because this series is too big for me, haha. |D; But thank you to all who took the time to read this fic and enjoyed it enough to leave a kudos and/or comment. I appreciate it. :) maybe when KH3 does drop I might be inspired to actually write something for it.
> 
> A shoutout: for anybody interested in watching a KH let's play in anticipation for KH3, look no further than The Nyancave on YouTube! They're three awesome guys playing KH almost everyday in preparation for KH3 and have caught up on almost every game thus far in the series. They're genuinely great and hilarious, so I highly recommend them for a great time. :3


End file.
